I'm feeling guilty about being
frustrated about anything. Guilty enough that I almost cried while I was walking my way home few hours ago.
Going home after attending a Traumatology Seminar at Lung Center of the Philippines few hours back, I came across this old and blind beggar whom I usually see at the footbridge asking for alms from people who passes him. T'was normal most of the days to see him like that, sitting and waiting for kind hearted people to give him something or anything he can make use of. But this night was different. T'was raining hard and it's already 8:00PM when I saw him. I even thought that he hasn't took his dinner. My heart really ached, that after giving him a few coins, brownies, and telling him that "Tatang, uwi ka na po. Gabi na po tos malakas pa yun ulan..Ingat ka po.", I almost cried as I walk down the footbridge thinking how could he survive such thing-- asking alms from people though it's cold, though he's hungry, though it's raining hard.
I felt guilty. I felt bad. And I felt good at the same time.
Guilt because I was ranting to a friend about the rain, traffic, and long hours of waiting for a taxi, FX, bus, PUJ, or anything that can take us home. While, that old man don't even complain of being soaked in the rain just to have some coins from people.
Guilt because I was annoyed that waiting makes me hungry and I'm worried about my gastritis that any moment my tummy will ache. While, that old man doesn't even complain of being hungry and he can even stand the heavy rain while his stomach grumbles.
I felt bad because if I were in his shoes, I might be dead now.
And I felt good because I realized how lucky I am for everything I have. That I don't need to ask alms to buy myself food. That I don't need to stand the cold and heavy rain just to have some coins. How blessed I am that at times I can have anything I want. How good He is to me that I don't need to experience anything that man is experiencing just to be able to realize how blessed and lucky I am. How He love me that much for not letting me learn such things the hard way.
I know that God has His purpose for letting things happen to people. Bilib ako kay tatang kase parang ang lakas niya. Siguro an dame na niya napag-daanan sa buhay kaya ganun siya kalakas. And maybe one of his purpose is to inspire people, like me, to realize how lucky we are. That we should always share what we have. Tatang thought me that life won't be always good, that it's cruel most of the time. But how cruel it might be, in return after surviving it, one will be stronger.
Labels: Learning From Life, Ohh Life Why?
Monday, June 29, 2009
♥ I'm Getting Frustrated ♥
Posted by Lurinaaa
Yes, I am. Frustrated over boredom and inability to find work. Hell, I've been finding work since last week. Went to two big call center companies, sent e-mails to different employers, applied to different jobs which was not even related to my course, been waiting for replies and calls, and yet, I'm still jobless. You see, I'm not used with 'this' kind of environment. Things were easy for me 'coz I always have had my parents to support me. Now, I realized that the world is sooooo cruel. It's really effin' hard to find work especially if the degree you took requires you to pass a certain licensure exam and it'll be a long and toxicating process before you'll have it in your hands. All I want now is to be a Registered Nurse. But, it'll be a 2-moth-agony for me to know if I passed or failed that exam. The hard part is, I am bored. Period. I'm not used to slacking and wasting time over senseless things (I think I have my own definition of senseless) and now, I just have to deal with it. At this time, certain companies really dowanna employ fresh graduate nurses for the reason that these freshies are just waiting for the Board Exam result and will leave the company eventually. Thus, causing the company to lose large amounts of investment blah, blah, blah. It's hard to be stereotyped, really. If these companies only knew that all I wanna do is to work my ass out for some ka-chings, save it, and work again. And after working hard and earning enough money, I want want want to go to Med School. Hmm.. My dream. Then again, stereotyping is contagious and all I need to do is deal with it.
But the present events won't stop me from anything. I'd still do my best to find work and then we'll see where I'll end up. I wont let these frustrating things to stop or even hinder me from doing what I want and what I need. I'll surpass this I know.
Funny, that I now say to myself, "Ang OA ko naman, hindi lang makahanap ng work eh!". Bakit ba? I'm on zero-allowance state and I want money stat! If you just knew how it feels. Heh.
On another note, some beaching in Puerto will happen this weekend. A birthday celeb for Nicole and a post graduation party after a long while of overexposure from stress and toxic environment. I'm thinking twice if I'll go with them for the reasons that I've got no moneyhh and I have an over-protective papz. So now, to beach or not to beach?
Labels: Just Making Kwentoks, Ohh Life Why?
Friday, June 26, 2009
♥ Hey weather. . . ♥
Posted by Lurinaaa
..please, make up your mind!
I’m supposed to meet a friend this day. To go wherever our happy feet will take us and journey through the busy streets of the metro. Find work— in short! But hell, this morning when I woke up, teh boypren told me that it was announced Signal # 2 in Manila and it’s better not to go out (though there’s nothing, not even a drizzle of rain outside). I texted my friend that our lakad is cancelled and I dowana walk under the pouring sky if ever it’ll get mad. So, I wasted my whole day staying at home, sitting in front of the computer while waiting for the rain.
It’s almost midnight now, and guess what? Your Feria Signal # 2 was demoted to a tropical depression. Wow! Does global warming have anything to do with this screwed up weather? If yes, well, thank you muggles— not.
Being a bum is not easy. Seriously. I’m not fond of doing nothing or just staying inside the four walls of our home. I always wanted to go out or at least do anything productive. It completes my day and yeah, makes me think that it’s not a senseless day. But oh well, what’s done, is done. I’m still glad that a friend assigned me to do our block’s page for the yearbook.
Hindi ako masipag, okay? Ayoko lang ng naka-tengga. Mas nakakatamad yun.
And thinking what will I do for the meantime.. Hmm.. Hello there, DVD’s!! They’re the only thing that I love during BUM days. 8D
PS:
Entry cross-posted from
there.
Labels: Ohh Life Why?
