I'm feeling guilty about being frustrated about anything. Guilty enough that I almost cried while I was walking my way home few hours ago.

Going home after attending a Traumatology Seminar at Lung Center of the Philippines few hours back, I came across this old and blind beggar whom I usually see at the footbridge asking for alms from people who passes him. T'was normal most of the days to see him like that, sitting and waiting for kind hearted people to give him something or anything he can make use of. But this night was different. T'was raining hard and it's already 8:00PM when I saw him. I even thought that he hasn't took his dinner. My heart really ached, that after giving him a few coins, brownies, and telling him that "Tatang, uwi ka na po. Gabi na po tos malakas pa yun ulan..Ingat ka po.", I almost cried as I walk down the footbridge thinking how could he survive such thing-- asking alms from people though it's cold, though he's hungry, though it's raining hard.

I felt guilty. I felt bad. And I felt good at the same time.

Guilt because I was ranting to a friend about the rain, traffic, and long hours of waiting for a taxi, FX, bus, PUJ, or anything that can take us home. While, that old man don't even complain of being soaked in the rain just to have some coins from people.

Guilt because I was annoyed that waiting makes me hungry and I'm worried about my gastritis that any moment my tummy will ache. While, that old man doesn't even complain of being hungry and he can even stand the heavy rain while his stomach grumbles.

And I felt good because I realized how lucky I am for everything I have. That I don't need to ask alms to buy myself food. That I don't need to stand the cold and heavy rain just to have some coins. How blessed I am that at times I can have anything I want. How good He is to me that I don't need to experience anything that man is experiencing just to be able to realize how blessed and lucky I am. How He love me that much for not letting me learn such things the hard way.

I know that God has His purpose for letting things happen to people. Bilib ako kay tatang kase parang ang lakas niya. Siguro an dame na niya napag-daanan sa buhay kaya ganun siya kalakas. And maybe one of his purpose is to inspire people, like me, to realize how lucky we are. That we should always share what we have. Tatang thought me that life won't be always good, that it's cruel most of the time. But how cruel it might be, in return after surviving it, one will be stronger.